Does Friendship get any easier with Adulthood?

Navigating Friendship in 2025: How to maintain friendship as a young adult.

For a while, I've wanted to write about this, but I didn't know which angle exactly to begin with or if I'd be able to convey my thoughts. But still, I wouldn't starve you of a worthy read.

Do you think friendship gets any easier with adulthood, or perhaps there are just friends who come and go as we find our different paths? You see, I've realised that proximity and availability played pretty important roles in our friendships growing up, whether physical or online.

Remember your childhood, church, secondary school friends, or lessons? And the great moments you shared? Maybe that's why they say secondary friends are the best. Aside from the “Innocence” we exhibited, seeing each other often made it easier to patch things up when things went rough or solidify the friendship.

Then you enter the university, and perhaps the friends you had and used to see got into another school. Or they probably entered before you did, so the gap comes into play, and you begin to drift. But you hold on to the saying that you haven't met the best of your friends yet. So you find yourself in the university, and after a while, you either find your squad or person from your department or your level. Then you realise that you're not alone after all, and maybe heaven heard your innate wish for that friendship(s). You share good and bad moments; bad if you both see your results from the rubbish you wrote in the exam.

Good, when your CGPA reflects what you did, not what they gave you. Perhaps academics aren't your forte, and you find your tribe in the pursuit of money and perhaps a frivolity called love. Or it could even be as essential as your spiritual life. Then you realise you wouldn't know what you’d do without them because your friend(s) is a lifesaver. And better still, the life jacket that saves you from drowning in life's turmoils. What's more blissful than genuine friendship? Even if you weren't seeing each other every day, you were always meeting at certain points or available to respond to each other's messages.

But life after school hits, and proximity and availability become the ex that broke your heart when you first fell in love. So you have no business with them anymore. You just reminisce about the moments. Snapchat isn't helpful as it constantly reminds you of those days. Then everybody begins to find their path, and those messages starting with “guyyyyy” don't hit anymore. Even you, with the gist, are still finding yourself after losing yourself over and over in this fickle thing they called life.

I don't know where I'm driving. However, I realised how proximity and availability really played roles in our friendships as young adults. People don't discuss how much life, finding your path, takes you farther from those friendships that held you and kept you sane.

I don't even feel bad when people don't text me like before because I picked it early that life pushes us on different paths, and maybe the memories are just enough to cherish. I also have a habit of wandering off when I'm trying to get my shit together, so it's OK for me if we don't text often. I really like just to be. Yet, there are days I wish I could do better as a friend. To show up. To be part of their lives.

You probably might say it wouldn't hurt to place a call or send WhatsApp messages. But there are moments when a day's text or a call isn't often to make up for lost time. And one way or the other, everyone's building stuff with their lives, including you. 9 to 5 wan kill you. Entrepreneurs and creatives sef aren't left out. Deliverables wan wound you.

And you can't even afford to slack because this year isn't the time to sleep on yourself. Because have you seen the price of foodstuff lately? Are we really going to raise kids in this Baba's economy? God abeg.

But hey, I'm holding on to the realization that there'd always be some friendships that will be our life savers in times of trouble and keep us sane for life—no matter the distance or inconsistency in communication. And while I know that life is happening to everyone and we're finding our paths, I'll give grace to my friends. Also, I'm at the age where my friends are getting married,can you imagine the betrayal?

But I don't want to “lose” my friendships because we're all finding paths.

So I'm making do that; maybe random checkups are fine. And on the days when the calls get longer or chats do, I should cherish it. My friend Iswat believes those random short calls on my way to work or heading somewhere aren't trivial. Also, proximity might be gone, but availability isn't something to trade away—nothing like being present in their lives even when distance happens to be a barrier.

Credit: @Virtuousii

This is long. I don't know if I answered the question or something. But I hope I conveyed something.

Oh, one more thing: I think the idea of sending streaks and reels makes a lot of sense. You should try it. It'll annoy you when you get too much, but be open to it; it'd really help your friendships.

Btw wagwan homeboys and girlies! And Happy New Year officially from me! How have you been? Write back to me, please. I missed you.

Your homeboy,

Damdam.

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