I Got Chased By An Old Man With A Catapult

This newsletter is a tale of wickedness, mistakes and self awareness.

On a Wednesday after school, my hostel mates and I decided to pluck mangoes at our regular spots. I mean, after a bit of stress, we needed to snack on some fruits. And it was mango season, why should I buy mango when I pluck many for free?

So Joshua, Odunayo and I took our leggedisBenz(if you know, you know) to the first spot which was close to our hostel. After ransacking the tree for ripe mangoes, we were able to get a few ones, but they weren't enough for us. And the species was even the small type. The Oliver Twist in us needed to be satisfied. So we headed for the next spot. "The danger zone." No be our fault, the mangoes were too juicy not to taste again. That's how I took the lead, because why not?

Na we dey run this town.

That's how we were going o. We even saw a cashew tree close to the spot. Miracle no dey tire Jesus. Even though it was in someone else's farm, we still plucked the ripe ones. Not like we can refuse what our Heavenly Father has provided.

While we were doing our job, one brother saw that we were heading for the mango tree. And he said "don't let Baba catch you o." And I was like "sure." Emi John Wike Wick.

(Back story. The previous time I and Joshua went to pluck mangoes at this spot, the old man that owns the tree almost used a cane to flog me when he saw that I climbed the tree. Emi Olori Ebi of my family. Hehehe. But thank God he didn't. We eventually talked it out and he let us pluck lots of mangoes. The reason for his outburst was because the pry and secondary school students would litter the area with unripe mangoes.)

So I thought it was business as usual. If at all we even saw him, dialogue is the way. As the three of us got to the spot, that's how we encountered Grandpa. What we thought would be a meet and greet, turned into something else.

As Grandpa saw us with our long sticks, he began dashing to where we were. I initially thought the catapult on his neck was for aesthetics. Maybe Grandpa wanted to give some alté vibes. Omo, I was wrong. He handled the catapult and threatened to fire at us. Argh. What did we carry, what did we throw?

I first thought he was just doing shakara, until he came closer. Immediately Joshua and Odunayo saw him coming close, they japa'd, leaving me to confront the old man.

"Grandpa, e farabale."

"Baba calm down na.”

This was me trying to engage in dialogue with an angry old man as he was coming close to where I was. As I was saying it, I was also taking some steps back.

The moment I saw that he would fire, I ran and left shadow. No be me baba arugbo go kill. I'm too young to die by catapult. Besides, I still need to find love.

That's how I picked race, my friends. I realized I was so fast. Barry Allen had nothing on me.

If you like, laugh at me. I laughed too. But it wasn't funny at that time. There's nothing you can tell me, that man has wickedness flowing in his veins and not blood. Because what warranted such? It wasn't our first time meeting and even if it was gan…

I don't blame him tho. I should have gone on a Sunday when he wouldn't be at home. Luckily for us, we were able to pluck mangoes before we got to where he was. Plus the one we had before. That one sef don do.

My people, that's how I didn't die like Goliath.

Help me thank Jesus.

But that's not the only thing that has happened to me since I wrote to you last. I've been through stuff.

But first, Wagwannn guys?

For real, what's really going on? What have you been up to? How have you been doing it in this country? Please tell me in the comments section or write back to me.

For me, it's been a rollercoaster. Some days, you're chilling. Other days it feels like you're fighting for your life. Everyday, adulthood keeps showing me new things. I don't advise anyone to come to adulthood. It's a very ghetto hood.

But look who's still here? I'm pushing through. Have I seen bad days? Definitely. I've almost broken down. You know how you pray hard for opportunities, only for the opportunities to feel overwhelming.

In the past months, I've lost "opportunities." The present situation was overwhelming and I couldn't see beyond where I was. And I think some people fall into this category too. We lose sight of the future because our present situation overwhelms us.

Another one was because impostor syndrome got the best of me.

I felt bad, I lost interest in a lot of things but I kept telling God "Lord, help me," because he's the only one I could bank on. While life was doing her thing (because it's definitely a Yoruba woman), the song "Owo Oluwa" and a couple of songs kept me going. Besides, I be Idan. God's got my back. I can't break.

Jysk, you're not breaking. You're not broken. You're unfolding.

AnikeBeloved told me this and I held onto it with my left hand.

What you're going through now is just preparing you for a better place. So hang on tight and keep pushing. It'll make sense eventually.

I'll stop here. Final year doesn't give me the luxury of time anymore. It's so annoying. I literally spent my hard earned money on my project. If you see any final year student, please squeeze 200k into their hands. Life is tough for them. T for tenks.

You should expect more newsletters. Don't forget to reply to this one. And feel free to post your favorite part on social media.

Till I write to you again, stay jiggy.

Love and Magic,

Damdam.

P.S: Heaven Has Come by Ty Bello is what I'm listening to atm. What's your favorite song if you have been listening to it?