For How Long Will I Keep Running?

A retired athlete that I am, but I still find myself running.

I'm not even an athlete. I mean I used to take part in such sports back in those days. But now, I'm not just running races. I'm running away from myself, running away from my situations. From my emotions.

You see, the past weeks have been pretty rough since I had a fallout with someone(coupled with adulting in Tinubs economy). And it has put me through some emotions that I really haven't had to deal with in a while. Nevertheless, it has put me through some introspection.

As a pretty self-aware person, I recently learned that a good number of times in my life, I have been running. Whenever I have to deal with conflict, I would rather run away from it than face it head-on. Which might seem good, because you don't want problems. But it's never a permanent solution. 

Same thing with conflicting emotions. Most times when I tend to have conflicting emotions, within myself, or as a result of someone, or face an issue I haven't seen before, my instinct is to run away from it. As fast as I can. Put all behind me. Forget it. Or just dismiss it. And that can pose me as a nonchalant person (heck, I have often been called that since I was younger) in dealing with relationships or friendships.

But I also realized that it's not that I don't care. I'm just good at running away. Running away because I would rather do that than being the one to deal with it, whether it's my fault or not. Or it's something I haven't encountered before.

Playing Running by Ladipoe ft Fireboy DML

Am I just a scaredy cat or am I really nonchalant?

This is not to say I have avoided every damn issue or event. In fact, I like to deal with matters, and I tell people to (And this isn't me ghosting. In fact, I hate it). But I have had some sensitive moments where all I ever did was just run away, however I could. 

But will I keep running?

I'm asking you to. For how long will you keep running? You know what you're running from. Maybe it's time to just face it.

It doesn't get easier as far as life goes. I haven't gotten it yet myself. But I'm learning not to run away, bit by bit. Because one day, you may not get the chance to face it. And you may meet what you're running away from.

And you know what Villains say about running. “You can run, but you can't hide.”

Think about it.

Love and Magic,

Damdam (GMNSE)

PS: The GMNSE is a friendly reminder.